Somedays, well, I’ll say most days I wish I could escape the daily adult responsibilities of life and just live carefree…
Summertime especially brings these feelings to the surface. As I am making the drive through the park on my daily commute into the office; I pass by people outside enjoying the beautiful sunshine. I start reminiscing about summer breaks as a kid. Having months off to just be free.
As a child I spent most summers on my grandparents farm riding my pony, playing with kittens in the barn loft, and exploring the woods with my cousins and my dog. Sitting here now, recalling those memories, I can almost smell my grandmother cooking mashed potatoes in the kitchen and seeing the sunlight shining through the large windows of the hundred year old farmhouse.
I was just back on my grandparents farm this past weekend and perhaps that is why I have been feeling overly reminiscent. The farm is much the same as it was in my younger years, a few of my favorite trees are no longer in the front yard and the kitchen of the hundred plus year old farm house is being renovated but overall the farm is the same. The light still shines through those floor to ceiling windows with the same warm summer glow and my grandmother can still be counted on to prepare my favorite fresh farm corn and famous ‘Roundhill Mashed Potatoes’ even with a half functioning kitchen. But there is one difference and it is significant, or at least it is to me.
Me, the difference, is me. I am twenty years older than that little girl running around the farm with her dog and her pony. The way I feel about my grandparents farm is still the same as that ten year old little girl, but the way I see it now is through a different lens, or maybe not a different lens but the same lens with a filter. I guess I would say the filter I see the farm through now is like adding the Mayfair filter on instagram; it softens the edges and adds an antique glow. It is not like the vivid high speed lens of childhood, with the bold colors and sharp contrasts, it is gentler and peaceful.
When I am back home on the farm away from city life and traffic, life seems simpler, breath comes easier, and the stress of deadlines and the pressures of career loosen their grip. On the farm the nights are darker and the stars are brighter, the sunrises are new beginnings and the sunsets, well they are spectacular.
I hope that everyone has a place that they feel this way about, that feels like a part of them, that even though they may have only been there once, they knew it was home. My grandparents farm makes me feel incredibly lucky, I was a lucky kid to grow up the way I did, with the people in my life, and the in the carefree way that kids with no worries at all do.
I think I will try to get back to there more often and live life, even for just a weekend, as that carefree little girl running around on the farm with her dogs, and maybe even a new horse… if she can talk her Papa into it… fingers crossed.